saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm always down for nudity.
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