I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My nipple is on Facebook.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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