the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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