what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
