i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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