I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
did you just send me my own nude
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
