make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
