I'm gonna have a badass scar
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
