If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
