I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
