i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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