They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
