Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
