it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
