my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He shit in the fireplace
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
