Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
