um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
