so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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