are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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