I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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