After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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