Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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