you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
