hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
