the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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