I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
