it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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