So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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