YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
