i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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