You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
