I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
