And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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