Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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