Please, let me fuck your mom
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
