I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
