No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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