Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
