Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
