btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
