New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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