What did we do last night that was yellow?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
