I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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