Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
