He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
