Pappa wants mamma naked
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
