Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
