you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
youre lurking in front of me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
