dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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