Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
How's work?
Spinning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
