I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
