if i can run in heels then i can drive
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
