yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
