went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
