**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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