she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
