Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
